this awful fear

Life happens. And it happens again
And I don’t know, if it’s loss or it’s gain
Deep inside, I’m scared to move
Must I go on, to grow and improve?

I’m afraid. Afraid deep inside
But you keep saying you’ll be at my side
You keep saying it, again and again
Pushing it through my layers of pain

You see it all. You try to help
I’m not letting you. I whine and whelp
I grow restless, can’t let you in
Can’t show the pain I bathe in within

You still are here, you are persistent
Determined to help your little sister
But I don’t want your claws inside my soul
Don’t want you to see my dark bleeding hole

And I push back. And you don’t let me go
The pain deep inside, I feel its flow
I drown in it; it pulls me away
But you are here. Saving my day

You say, “trust me. I’ll stay with you”
But I’m afraid, in time you will skew

Move on, and forget me.

And I’ll disappear.

And I can’t destroy

This awful fear.

Want to support me?