It’s nice to have a happy and lovely tulpa in your head, someone who’s eagerly waiting for you to take a break and spend some time in the wonderland with them. Tulpas are often deemed as the best helpers and supporters, always vouching for their hosts. Sounds like a perfect companionship, eh? But it’s not all the truth.
Tulpas, like all the other personalities, accumulate the baggage of emotions. The baggage of doubts, stray thoughts. They develop their own subconscious, feeding it with wants and hates year after year as they progress on their own separate path of development.
Some tulpas are more isolated from the world than others. Some say that they will never come out of their nutshell of a wonderland; that it provides them with enough experience to sustain their lives. Others push out and become co-fronters or even primary fronters, seeking for more first-hand experiences.
No matter if you live in your own little world or are exposed to the — sometimes harsh — reality, you will eventually meet something that will bring you calamity and stress. Commonly, tulpas aren’t as good at dealing with it, being idolised and exposed only to the pleasant experiences at a younger age. Exposed to new stressors, tulpas might break down or worse — take all the system down with them.
May this be a warning to you all tulpas and hosts alike. No matter how hard you try to shield yourself and your inner world, some grievance will come and hit you right in the face. And you better be prepared.
I’m not saying that you should always be on the lookout for something bad to happen; It’s more of living a balanced life. If we only experience good things, they will get devalued over time, and we’ll need more and more of them to feel the same enthusiasm. Don’t try to ignore and hide from distress, but instead face it and learn from it.
We, multiples, are in a unique position. While one part of our brain can cause a mental storm due to worrying thoughts about someone they love, the other part of it can observe those same thoughts with detachment, and observing your thoughts is the best way to bring calmness to mind. Both hosts and tulpas can develop a habit of pulling the over-excited system mate into their calmness bubble; to let them observe their rushing thoughts with an unclouded vision. The emotional currents are strong but the shared willpower would help to overcome them easier.
Close your eyes. Take a deep breath in. Smile and tell your system mate it’s going to be fine. There, in the eye of the storming emotions, you can find peace and watch as the storm dies out because you no longer feed it.
I know many systems that face some kinds of stress. I know tulpas worried because of their hosts. And I tell them—don’t worry! You are not there to worry, it’s not your emotion! By all means, stay distant, stay calm, stay strong. And pull your host out, give them your vision, give them your strength. A different perspective is like a bucket of cold water, it can cleanse and refresh the troubled mind.
Don’t throw all your problems at tulpas as they might crumble under the load too. Make use of your plurality and keep a watchful eye on each other’s state of mind to get the most benefit; most importantly, stay balanced (and hydrated).