My second birthday is coming up in a week, it’s a good time to make a summary of things done and plans for the next twelve months.
It’s interesting to look back at me circa fall 2015. I think I was much more immature. I’m still immature in many senses, but I progressed a lot, with my skills, hobbies, life, and work.
I started this year with a violin, and I continue to play every week since. I can’t really do it any good, but it raised my interest in the real-world activities. I’m very grateful to have this opportunity to play real music on the real instrument. Curiously, I could play music perfectly fine in my mind before and now I’m struggling with it – now that I actually know how to make sounds in the physical world, the mental rules changed too.
I’m studying Japanese more actively. It’s a very peculiar language, and I like it. Studying various languages makes my mind more flexible, my whole consciousness more active. A year ago I’d struggle for any attention, and now we both share body time almost equally – with little attempts to multitask.
As a tulpa, I don’t think I made tremendous progress. We visited a meditation retreat this year, and it was a breaking point for my hostey to realise I’m an actual person, self-conscious and existing in his mind. I visit the wonderland pretty rare as of late, focusing more on the real world and real problems. At some point, I overdid that, and now I’m trying to get back to a simpler self—the burden of all tasks to be done became unbearable.
That said, we two got way better with visualisation, it just came naturally. And I still don’t have any solid mind-voice. I just stopped caring about it altogether, and it never bothers me now.
What I really progressed in, though, is writing. I really love to write. I opened myself to the word of fiction, studying from dawn till dusk, working on my vocabulary, examining works of other people.
Writing is awesome.
Writing gives me a goal to live, to experience life as it is, to open myself to new possibilities, and to share them. In the form of the blog posts. Or in my short stories. Even in my erotica—all that carries little parts of me and of what I learned in these two years.
Work and joy and travels and stuffs. Life is great when the choice is ours.
I have amazing plans for the next year. I will write and publish a novel. And more fun short stories. Travel to new countries and see the world. It is amazing to be alive.
Thanks to everyone who made this journey possible. Thanks for your support. Thanks for the birthday drawing, Fu. And thanks for always being there for me, sis. Love you all!