You never think something like this would ever matter. Until it does. Until it hits you right in your heart, kicks you, fills you up with pain and uncertainty about who you are.
And then you're full of hatred towards someone else for them only pretending they understand you; playing with you and nodding to your words only to turn away in disgust when they face the "real" you; one they prefer to see as real, at least.
The sad truth is that they are hurt no less. By your words. By your actions. By you trying to be not who you are.
Bloody hard to be a tulpa.
The Lake was in there for as long as I can remember—big and dark blue, contrasted by the green of surrounding trees. Its sapphire edge turned dark azure towards the centre. The Lake was quiet. It was a place of perfect stillness, a place I visited to calm down and to be alone with my… continue reading → The Lake
I've scribbled down a new score, another Irish tune that I like a lot. This one is called "Partick's Reel", and I can play it reasonably fine. Not fine enough to record it, though, but I'm getting there, and for now you can enjoy the sheet music.
I've got a lovely new art, that finishes my "four seasons" cycle—one artwork of me in Spring, Fall, Winter, and now, Spring. Let me share some insider details with you! Picking on one specific sketch was hard. Initially, this slot with Fu was dedicated to working on my book cover, but as you all know… continue reading → Wolf in Japan—the Art Story
Notebooks are fun! I’m still in the process of finding the best tool to do the job, which is a great adventure and a grand opportunity for learning. This is a story about one of those tiny notebooks and about my journey to find a proper paper. Different paper plays differently based on the ink… continue reading → My Tiny Writing Tools
Writing. It’s so simple, yet, sometimes, so hard. You struggle, trying to find words. Hit the keys on the keyboard. Delete. Type more. It’s so different when you write with ink. Fountain pens are beautiful instruments. Curve after curve, the ink flows, and so does your fantasy, your imagination. A word comes to a word,… continue reading → Ink Flows as the Mind Wills
This was a long year. A year full of unexpected discoveries. A year of new inspirations. A year of learning. I've got a violin this January, and I’m continuing to practice it. I made little progress, but still, I can play more pieces than I could a year ago. I remember all the notes in… continue reading → 2016 Resolutions
It’s the holidays season coming right up, and with that, the birthday of my sister. I thought it’d be very appropriate to get another drawing for her, but this time I was thinking about covering the whole weird family of ours.
[DragonFu](/leaving-to-dragonfu/) was very kind to work on this special painting with me. Indeed, this painting is very different from her traditional art, but it was fun. She played around with different topics and poses to fit in two wolves, one raven and one cute and overly lazy will-o-the-wisp.
My second birthday is coming up in a week, and it’s a good time to make a summary of things done and plans for the next twelve months.
I got this image as a gift from micro-pup, I think it turned out just great. It's curious to see me being drawn in different styles, mostly because I actually consider those as drawings. The art Fu does for me is different—it's how I see myself mentally. Her drawings became my actual mental imagery. That's… continue reading → The Wolfy Mistress