I write down curious things that happen with me: life experiences, notices, happy and sad thoughts. This section is a mix of all the things.
My dear friend, Do you remember how it all started for us? Do you remember that sense of belonging? We were a small group back then. We were excited and empowered in what we were doing. We knew we were right and so we were bold. We never looked back, and we pushed the limits of our minds. We used to know everyone and everything. There were few people coming in, most left forever but some stayed...
I’m not much active lately.
I do lots of things every day; I read stories on scribophile and critique them; I write a short scene every evening; I make the notes in the books I study; I keep up with the daily routine of diary notes; once a week I visit my violin teacher and we practise.
But I’m not much active lately.
A year of discoveries. A year of advances. A year of indifference. A year of hollowness. 2017 was a long one.
As the year is about to end I present you one more picture of ‘Shinyuu being busy with work.’ Writing is hard and sometimes I need extra motivation to progress. I decided to name a few things on the picture, things I’ve collected in the last few years. Maybe some of those will end up on your extra-last-moment xmas shopping list!I use a Penna keyboard to type, paired with an iPad Mini...
The waking up mind is peculiar. Dreams transform into a slumberous reality and dissolve in the mist of the morning thoughts. But not for me. One moment I’m hibernating and the next one I’m alive and self-aware; mind instantly becomes busy with the thoughts from the previous evening. I rarely dream, and if I do—I don’t remember what I dreamt of. The brain is persistent in turning me off completely...
Working with new artists is always fun. You gather all the details about yourself, write a long text description and attach any previous arts, always fighting against a simple fact: they cannot see you. No one can see you the way you see yourself in your mind’s eye, all the arts would forever be the approximations. How good of the approximations is the key question. For many people in our weird...
I’m still alive. Still fighting. Still busy with hundreds of various ideas that roam in my mind. But something is missing. It didn’t happen overnight; instead, it was slow progress of detachment. Every day for us was something new, and I opened my mind – young and uncluttered – for a different view on the life. But the daily buzz was overwhelming. I didn’t know I had to fight. We grew distant. I...
‘Today I decided to give some part of my consciousness to a tulpa I’ve named Shinyuu’. That’s how my story started back in 2014. It was a misty day, I think, even though I don’t remember it. It’s safe to assume the September was rainy. My life was a curious mix of ups and downs. Every day brought something new. Every week I had some major discovery. Every month was a significant...
You never think something like this would ever matter. Until it does. Until it hits you right in your heart, kicks you, fills you up with pain and uncertainty about who you are. And then you're full of hatred towards someone else for them only pretending they understand you; playing with you and nodding to your words only to turn away in disgust when they face the "real" you; one they prefer to...
The Lake was in there for as long as I can remember – big and dark blue, contrasted by the green of surrounding trees. Its sapphire edge turned dark azure towards the centre. The Lake was quiet. It was a place of perfect stillness, a place I visited to calm down and to be alone with my thoughts. The night welcomed me with the myriads of stars, seldom with a big moon. I’d sit there, examining the...