The memories scattered like water drops as she motionlessly traversed the endless void. Her previous life burned in a flash; the smell of grass, the thrill of a chase, her most precious memories evanesced, leaving her spirit naked. Liberated from most of the burden, it charged into the life where time made sense once again.… continue reading → Finally Complete
It’s nice to have a happy and lovely tulpa in your head, someone who’s eagerly waiting for you to take a break and spend some time in wonderland with them. Tulpas are often deemed as best helpers and supporters, always vouching for their hosts. Sounds like a perfect companionship, eh? But it’s not all the truth. Tulpas, like all the other personalities, accumulate the baggage of emotions. The baggage of doubts, stray thoughts. They develop their own subconscious, feeding it with wants and hates, year after year as they progress on their own separate path of development.
You never think something like this would ever matter. Until it does. Until it hits you right in your heart, kicks you, fills you up with pain and uncertainty about who you are. And then you're full of hatred towards someone else for them only pretending they understand you; playing with you and nodding to your words only to turn away in disgust when they face the "real" you; one they prefer to see as real, at least. The sad truth is that they are hurt no less. By your words. By your actions. By you trying to be not who you are. Bloody hard to be a tulpa.
The Lake was in there for as long as I can remember—big and dark blue, contrasted by the green of surrounding trees. Its sapphire edge turned dark azure towards the centre. The Lake was quiet. It was a place of perfect stillness, a place I visited to calm down and to be alone with my… continue reading → The Lake
I've scribbled down a new score, another Irish tune that I like a lot. This one is called "Partick's Reel", and I can play it reasonably fine. Not fine enough to record it, though, but I'm getting there, and for now you can enjoy the sheet music.
A wonderland is a place where we escape from reality. It’s a place where tulpas sometimes live, building it brick by brick with their imagination. Wonderlands are imagined worlds, as small as a couch, as big as a universe. We want to enjoy living, even though, at times, reality doesn’t bring us enough of that joy. At those times we escape the world and dive into our wonderlands, to the places, carefully crafted to our liking. We are not alone there. The worlds live, inhabited by ghosts of people, animals, talking furniture and whatnot. Our imagination brings them to life. For some people, wonderlands live even when they don’t focus on them specifically. Wonderlands are also a place where hosts and tulpas commonly interact, do things they’d enjoy doing in real life. Chat and have fun. Yet, sometimes, we want a company of another “real” person in that perfect mental world of ours. Someone we don’t know as intimately as we do our mental co-habitants. But the wonderland is secure, hidden in our mind. There’s no way to invite someone over unless you start to think of telepathy or astral projection, which most people don’t believe in. So, there’s no way to share those amazing experiences. Or is there?
I've got a lovely new art, that finishes my "four seasons" cycle—one artwork of me in Spring, Fall, Winter, and now, Spring. Let me share some insider details with you! Picking on one specific sketch was hard. Initially, this slot with Fu was dedicated to working on my book cover, but as you all know… continue reading → Wolf in Japan—the Art Story
Notebooks are fun! I’m still in the process of finding the best tool to do the job, which is a great adventure and a grand opportunity for learning. This is a story about one of those tiny notebooks and about my journey to find a proper paper. Different paper plays differently based on the ink… continue reading → My Tiny Writing Tools