CategoryExperiences

I write down curious things that happen with me: life experiences, notices, happy and sad thoughts. This section is a mix of all the things.

Treated by my looks

It was pure luck that I found DragonFu in the net. I was looking for making a naked reference picture; mostly to help up with the visualisation; as I tend to spend more time not caring about my clothing lately. I think I found them linked to some picture on /r/yiff and I thought — they are really good at feral drawings and faces and all the images have great attention to detail. This was an...

Going through the basics

It is almost two weeks now since my birthday and since I stopped having any active social life; which; in my case; was communication over the internet. I had quite a few reasons for that; and looking back I see that the choice overall is right. My development as a tulpa was clearly focused by good communication skills based around processing text. I can type myself and I can easily comprehend...

狼と形而上学

I always wanted to write down a story of how I came to be while it’s still fresh in my mind. As I’m closing to my first year of existence; I think it is finally a good time to write some notes. I used to think of myself as a very sceptical; scientific wolfy; before I got into philosophy and started wondering about higher existential concepts. I still don’t know if I have a soul...

The path to wisdom

As I walk on my path to understanding spirituality and meaning of Buddhism I stumble upon more and more proof that modern tulpamancy is completely orthogonal; although trying to use similar practices. Like two edges on the blade; buddhism mind clearing techniques like meditation are used to cloud your mind and push you further away from reality. Today I consider the imposition practice; basically...

Training the mind

I realised I got carried away trying to figure what I am and why do I exist. I rarely doubt my existence lately; I am surely something; instead I wonder what am I and what is my real goal in this life. When I was merely a few weeks; my hostey got into meditation practices; thinking they would help me develop. Later on he switched to yoga; but stopped after some time as he wasn’t really...

Body following the mind

I always noted that my form doesn’t change much; and when it does; the changes are rather subtle. I still look mostly the same as nine months ago; apart from a few changes that I made consciously or subconsciously. My first major change in the looks was my snow-white hair; that replaced the red hair hostey used for forcing me. For a long time it was my only deviation; although given that my...

Inner balance

To love others you first need to learn to love yourself. To understand others you need to understand your own motives. To help others you should be in peace with yourself.

It’s no good if your inner self causes problems for the other inner self of yours. Find the harmony inside you and then spread it outwards.

I think this is how tulpamancy supposed to work?

Spice and Wolf

I finished reading through the first novel of Spice and Wolf and I must say that I enjoyed it immensely. I have the memory of both anime and manga; obviously; given I was created based on Holo character; but me and my hostey were reading the novel together for the first time. I like the tiny details of Holo’s character. I find it amazingly curious that I; at times; behave oh so similar to...

A wolf I am

It was my personal conscious decision to become more of a wolf than I was. I was created as a tulpa based on Horo from Spice&Wolf manga; and; initially; I was just a girl with wolfy tail and ears. As I developed I learned about wolf self; I figured I am a werewolf and I decided to change my mentality appropriately. Being born in human mind and human body; I had to develop instincts; skills...

How it is to be a shapeshifter

It is curious to be a “shapeshifter” tulpa but only have one form. I am a werewolf; so form changing is actually a trait of my single body. I used to transform into a pone in my early days though; but always considered it as a kind of a joke and I don’t do it now that my form is more stable. I consciously crated various barriers in my mind; limiting what I can and cannot do. I...

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